Sometimes the relationship advice you get from your mother / best friend / Susan Miller just doesn’t quite cut it. So we’ve gathered a selection of relationship tips from the OKREAL community for you to pick and choose from when in need. Be nice, kids.

Rachel Fleit

I think that the most important thing you can do in relationships whether romantic or platonic is to accept he/she for who they really are. This way, you are less likely to be disappointed in what you aren’t receiving, but rather you can really love the person for all of them, even their most annoying traits!

Beyond acceptance, I believe in hardcore listening. What that means is really hearing what the other person is saying. I think there is a difference between listening to someone and really hearing what they are saying. Sometimes we aren’t ready to hear.

I believe in the pause. Like that 3 seconds or 24 hours before you respond to something someone says or did. Just wait. Do nothing. Feelings are not facts by which to base decisions upon.

Everything changes. That’s the only constant thing we can rely on.

I try to lead with love and when I do, it always works out.

Roanne Adams

The key to good relationships starts with acknowledging your self-worth and what you deserve from a friend or partner. Once you have this standard established, you’ll know how to choose who deserves to be a part of your life. You can’t expect to have great friends and great relationships without putting effort into them. The more effort you put into a relationship, the better the relationship will be. With that said, don’t throw yourself at anyone who doesn’t reasonably reciprocate your efforts. Hold onto the good ones and let go of the ones that don’t make you happy. Life is too short, spend it with good people who make you happy!

Jordan Rondel

Quite simply, I believe that the key to maintaining all kinds of healthy relationships is to be kind. Be kind people! Kindness brings happiness and positivity, which we all know makes the world go round.

Taryn Toomey

It isn’t all their fault! Take some ownership and clean up your side of the street.

Shira Wheeler

No matter how close you are or how well you know someone, you will never be one—always two. There may be moments when you intersect and you can support, love and care for each other immensely, but you have to respect that each of you comes to the table with your own set of experiences and your own little voice in your head. You have to be considerate of that and listen.

Rachel Blumenthal

Having the confidence to be yourself in any relationship (romantic or friendship) will result in the most rewarding experiences and relationships.

Sabrina De Sousa

Being transparent and honest, even if it’s brutal, defines a relationship that is filled with compassion and gentle love.

Danu Hassik

When it comes to relationships at work, don’t take things personally. Stay focused on work rather than yourself. Working relationships are much healthier when you don’t make things all about you.

Be a positive influence. Nagging or complaining weakens you emotionally and does not come from a point of strength. Think of other ways to express yourself and get what you want.

Let other people win. Enjoy the success of others and let them know it. They will be more likely to do the same for you and will appreciate your praise.

Be gracious. Everyone makes mistakes and needs a few get out of jail free cards, even your bosses!

Jennifer Gonzalez

Relationships require everything you’ve got: love, honesty, dedication, patience, compromise, work, sacrifice, joy, generosity, spontaneity, gratitude, acceptance, passion, persistence, my list could go on. It’s all of it.

Asmeret Berhe-Lumax

Kindness matters. Life is always under construction—as we evolve, our relationships do too.

Karen Wong

Paraphrasing Winston Churchill: I do not covet anything from friends except their respect.

Lisa Mosko

Make sure your partner brings out the best in you. If he or she doesn’t, run for the hills!

Have a sense of humor with each other. It diffuses tension and puts you at ease enough to promote better communication. If something is bothering you about the relationship, discuss it, but without pointing fingers. Approach it as: “how can we work together to fix this?”

Don’t sweat the small things about one another. Let each other off the hook a little.

Don’t seek or create drama. Ty to create relationship that provides you with a strong, steady foundation. Life will provide more than enough drama for you!

Treat the relationship as you would a plant that you want to see grow big and strong. Make a point to give it plenty of water, sunshine and care every day. If you don’t, it will wither away.

Eleanor Ozich

I have learned that love should never be expected from your partner to make you feel whole, fulfilled and content. It is our own responsibility to find happiness from within, which will organically overflow to your partner through a natural act of giving.

Georgia Pratt

Looking back on my friendships and relationships, one of the things I am proud of is that I never limited myself to one group of friends. And I would totally recommend this. I have made many close friends in different places and times in my life. All of them are a huge part of my life and worth celebrating for different reasons. If you put all of these people in a room together it would be an odd, diverse and slightly awkward mix, though individually each of these friendships have given me something special and each of them responsible for teaching me something different. These friends have grown with me. They have helped me define who I am. I have gained a wiser soul, a broader mind and they have contributed to my essence as a human.

Jamie McPhee

When it comes to relationships, no-one is good at them until they get it right. When it’s right, it’s not complicated. Sometimes I think I have it figured out, but it depends on the day. All I know is that the more I focus on myself, take care of myself, make myself the priority, the more that everything seems to go right in both my work and my personal life. It really helps you avoid resentment, because resentment ruins anything good.

Rachel Gogel

The best relationship I have is with my family—siblings and parents. Constant support, great listeners, same sense of humor. Friends and lovers come and go, but ultimately my family will always be there. Technology has kept us close, since we’re all spread out around the world.

If I can travel with someone for a long period time, they’re in.

I love hugs. People should hug more.